Sunday, 11 February 2007
@ 3.54 pm
Sad
Wednesday produced an absolutely picture perfect Christchurch late-summer evening - warm and still, with a slow setting sun revealing the stars one by one after a hot nor'west day that had left only a patchy layer of cloud in the sky. After dinner I went for a big long walk through the Upper Riccarton environs. Strolling through suburbia, I passed old flats and friends' houses from school days and indulged myself by wallowing in lost youth. The footpaths have changed, but everything is otherwise largely still the same, barring the encroachment of student cars on previously well-loved lawns, and the encroachment of retirement homes on previously well-loved student flats. I discovered that the smell of walnut trees instantly evokes my youth, part of which was spent building huts amongst their branches on our Yaldhurst orchard, and I realised that I should spend more time going for lazy walks around Christchurch streets. It's really quite relaxing and helps me stop rushing, take a breath, and actually *think* rather than spending life in a purely reactionary state.
Since getting home from Vanuatu, life has been hectic - too fast, too much on, too many things not done that should have been, too many promises made that were never followed through on. And now I fear that I won't be able to make it all better again.
